This was a really interesting day. I guess it just goes to show that when you offer everything to God and you let Him have your heart, ambilis ng conviction ni Lord pag may sin sa life mo..
My new work shift starts at 6am-2pm (i used to work with an 8-5pm shift). Anyway, since it was my first "official" on the floor day, I didn't want to be late. I set my alarm for 4:30am, but for some reason, I woke up at 5:30!! imagine? (lumabas ang pagka-isko ng bayan, nagwork ng walang ligo.. half-bath lang, but in fairness ha naligo ako ng gabi before natulog..hehe defensive!)anyway, my first word was "f*ck!" and then it hit me.. BOOM! As if ice cold water was splashed at me, I woke up and immediately said sorry to God. Good thing the Holy Spirit's not groggy at 5:30 a.m huh? And so it follows that i did not have my quiet time this morning (though I apologized to God ahead last night "fore seeing"{tama spelling?] I wouldn't be able to do it..), but guess what, God is good, He provided for a Christian speaker in our flag ceremony at the City Hall kanina. (yey! first time kong mag-flag raising kanina. btw, na-reinforce lang yung desire ko to serve this country sa mga vows sa flag na ginawa kanina at sa prayer ng city administrator namin.. but that's a different story). So in a way, I was able to somehow still start my work and my "official" day with God. God is good He provided many spare hours kanina, la masyadong calls and I was able to redeem the time with Him.
But the best part of the day came when I went home.. and yes, my patience with my brother is still undergoing major repairs by God right now. Anyway, a co-worker called me up to change shifts with me tomorrow (she worked on a 2-10pm shift), although she told me it was okay for me to refuse, i said i couldn't do it coz i had to watch over my niece (yes, LIE!) although i was just being the usual pinoy not wanting to say no directly and disappoint someone without the appropriate reason.. Honestly, i just didn't want to work 2-10 tomorrow then 6-2pm the next day. It was haggard. After hanging up, the conviction was there again..aaaaaaaaaaargghh! the Lord can be so stubborn. He wasn't just gonna accept my sorry, it wasn't a sin against Him. And so for the first time, I had to acknowledge to someone, who was probably unaware I had lied to her anyway, that i lied. I called 911 (and yes, it was an emergency alright! The Holy Spirit wouldn't stop pestering me about it.) and told her. She was quite shocked and said it was okay. It probably wasn't a biggie for her, but it certainly was for me. I sat for 10 minutes just staring at the phone before finding the courage to call. It felt nice. no, actually, it felt wonderful. As if God was smiling at me. And yes, to you who are reading this, you are now accountable for me. I have taken it to heart to live humbly. (errrr... with God's grace coz I definitely couldn't do it on my own). I've learned a lot these past few days spent with the Lord. I will no longer be a closet Christian, nor a silent one. I will be a radical, alive, energetic, humble, and beautiful child of God. And a joyful one too, no matter what circumstance.
God help me. :)
